|
LATEST NAUGHTY JOKES
|
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
| |
|
|
NAUGHTY JOKES ARCHIVE
|
|
|
- (21)
|
|
- (67)
|
|
- (73)
|
|
- (54)
|
|
- (44)
|
|
- (69)
|
|
- (72)
|
|
- (60)
|
|
- (49)
|
|
- (51)
|
|
- (73)
|
|
- (44)
|
|
- (37)
|
|
- (54)
|
|
- (100)
|
|
- (59)
|
|
- (104)
|
|
- (126)
|
|
- (71)
|
|
- (77)
|
|
- (65)
|
|
- (76)
|
|
- (116)
|
|
- (13)
|
|
- (7)
|
|
- (3)
|
|
- (2)
|
|
- (3)
|
|
- (6)
|
|
- (7)
|
|
- (1)
|
|
- (3)
|
|
- (4)
|
|
- (4)
|
|
- (9)
|
|
- (5)
|
|
- (12)
|
|
- (22)
|
|
- (4)
|
|
- (17)
|
|
- (11)
|
|
- (3)
|
|
- (2)
|
|
- (1)
|
|
- (1)
|
|
- (1)
|
| |
|
LIVE RATED
Truth or Dare Blog
Cuckold Blog
|
|
GM vs. Microsoft
|
Thursday, 30 September 2004 17:35 |
This one made me laugh outloud, and gawd I needed that!!
MICROSOFT SHOULD MAKE CARS, GM SHOULD MAKE
SOFTWARE.
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared
the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry
has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got
1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press
release stating the following: "If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the
following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a
day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would
have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no
reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in
which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more
seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to
drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights
would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going
off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the
radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe
set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even
though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to
delete this option would immediately cause the car's
performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would
have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the
controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
|
|
Posted by:
|
|
|
Thursday, 30 September 2004 17:54 |
|
good comparison   |
|
Thursday, 30 September 2004 17:54 |
|
|
QUOTE (Chazzy @ September 30, 2004, 17:35) This one made me laugh outloud, and gawd I needed that!!
MICROSOFT SHOULD MAKE CARS, GM SHOULD MAKE
SOFTWARE.
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared
the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry
has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got
1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press
release stating the following: "If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the
following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a
day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would
have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no
reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in
which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more
seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to
drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights
would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going
off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the
radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe
set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even
though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to
delete this option would immediately cause the car's
performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would
have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the
controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
Truer words were never written! Kiss my  Bill! |
|
Thursday, 30 September 2004 18:45 |
|
FORD RULES!!!!! 
 |
|
Thursday, 30 September 2004 19:27 |
|
QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ September 30, 2004, 18:45)
So funny chazzy! BCB Im not so sure I agree with you... |
|
Friday, 01 October 2004 03:28 |
|
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW
Bought My Wife
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
DODGE
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT
Fix It All the Time
FORD
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
GM
General Maintenance
GMC
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
SAAB
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW
Virtually Worthless
|
|
Friday, 01 October 2004 04:14 |
|
They say that the only time Microsoft products wouldn't SUCK is when they would make a vacuum cleaner!
Heh |
|
Friday, 01 October 2004 05:25 |
|
FORD
Fast Only Rolling Downhill 
Sorry bcb
OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment 
That sure as shit sounds like my car!  |
|
Friday, 01 October 2004 15:40 |
|
QUOTE (Tease @ October 1, 2004, 05:25)FORD
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Sorry bcb
OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
That sure as shit sounds like my car!
never said my ford was fast, 75mph tops but try stoppin that damn thing... the brakes barely get the job done!! |
|
Friday, 01 October 2004 15:41 |
|
QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ October 1, 2004, 15:40) QUOTE (Tease @ October 1, 2004, 05:25)FORD
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Sorry bcb
OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
That sure as shit sounds like my car!
never said my ford was fast, 75mph tops but try stoppin that damn thing... the brakes barely get the job done!!
Thats a ford for ya! |
|
