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LIVE RATED
Truth or Dare Blog
Cuckold Blog
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Signs Of A Bad First Date
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Friday, 09 December 2005 00:22 |
Yeah, I've been meandering around on my favorite stupid humor websites again....I do love to laugh.... laughing is like an orgasm for my heart,
********************************
Signs Of A Bad First Date
Not only is she a little young, but you're sure that you used to date her mother.
You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little league with her.
She has a thicker moustache than you.
You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole.
You walk away from her front door with the roses you got her shoved up your ass.
You are the first guy that she's gone out with that isn't her cousin.
At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic.
She beats the shit out of some guy for making fun of your hair cut.
At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house and her pimp is waiting there with your bill.
You wake up to find your loins covered with purple and green spots, with an intense itching in your left thigh.
She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then finally asks if you want to meet Satan.
She is better hung than you.
She informs you that you can't go out again because her boyfriend doesn't like you.
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Posted by:
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Friday, 09 December 2005 07:22 |
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Leave it to Chazzy to put a smile on your face!...  not to mention she could take away DR Ruths job!.....  |
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Friday, 09 December 2005 08:48 |
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If I didn't make an effort to indulge in humor and laughter everyday...the homicide rate in my 20 mile radius would rise sharply...
You all feel free to post your own "Worst First Date" or just "Worst Date" stories...
Mine was a guy that I turned down for a date, he showed up at my door in spite of my clear blunt rejection, reluctantly went with the persistant bastard anyway, and this well-to-do company exec kept trying to make me walk across the room to bar, order, and carry our drinks because it was ladies nite, and I could get them for half the price he could.... |
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Monday, 12 December 2005 20:54 |
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Earlier this spring, with a guy from work.. we went on a date(first mistake which i already knew) and its sort of a long story (a bit off topic too) but from the moment we first hung out till the time we stopped hanging out, he made me feel like I was not good enough and everything I did was messed up and he did it better. With that in mind, every little thing I "messed" up.. his idea was to come in and "save" me from whatever the situation was so he could come out looking like a hero or a good/sweet guy. Keep in mind, I'm one of those clumbsy/menance people so beware.. especially you sweet cheeks.  So and the way it ended was me hanging out with someone else and that took care of him for good and again, with him all being "mr perfect".. only i had to deal with his crabby ass at work. *bonus side for me was he got in trouble after awhile because he was bringing in "out of work" issues into work and was being one of those snotty people while i was being all nice to him given the situation we had out of work. So in the end.. it was a win/win situation for me. Got rid of the guy, and he got in trouble at work.  |
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