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LATEST NAUGHTY JOKES
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NAUGHTY JOKES ARCHIVE
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Continued...
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Friday, 24 February 2006 22:22 |
CHILI #6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge #1 - Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge #2 - The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge #3 - My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
CHILI #7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI..
Judge #1 - A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge #2 - Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge #3 - You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI #8 BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
Judge #1 - The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge #2 - This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge #3 - No Report
I know this one was long...but it is well worth splitting the posts...it was too long...(Sorry Abs!)
 Jill
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Posted by:
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Friday, 24 February 2006 23:01 |
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I almost fell out of my chair! I laughed so hard, I woke Warren up!
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Friday, 24 February 2006 23:13 |
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Tuesday, 28 February 2006 10:04 |
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Tuesday, 28 February 2006 13:30 |
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I'm from Texas and have judged a Chili Cook-off before. Before the end I was en route to Judge #3's condition but still standing and didn't pull a pot over on myself. My taste buds weren't the same for 2 days! Humans can only endure so many chipotle, cayenne and poblano peppers in a 2-3 hour period. Very funny...
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