|
LATEST NAUGHTY JOKES
|
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
|
-
|
| |
|
|
NAUGHTY JOKES ARCHIVE
|
|
|
- (21)
|
|
- (67)
|
|
- (73)
|
|
- (54)
|
|
- (44)
|
|
- (69)
|
|
- (72)
|
|
- (60)
|
|
- (49)
|
|
- (51)
|
|
- (73)
|
|
- (44)
|
|
- (37)
|
|
- (54)
|
|
- (100)
|
|
- (59)
|
|
- (104)
|
|
- (126)
|
|
- (71)
|
|
- (77)
|
|
- (65)
|
|
- (76)
|
|
- (116)
|
|
- (13)
|
|
- (7)
|
|
- (3)
|
|
- (2)
|
|
- (3)
|
|
- (6)
|
|
- (7)
|
|
- (1)
|
|
- (3)
|
|
- (4)
|
|
- (4)
|
|
- (9)
|
|
- (5)
|
|
- (12)
|
|
- (22)
|
|
- (4)
|
|
- (17)
|
|
- (11)
|
|
- (3)
|
|
- (2)
|
|
- (1)
|
|
- (1)
|
|
- (1)
|
| |
|
LIVE RATED
Truth or Dare Blog
Cuckold Blog
|
|
Male Sex Test
|
Monday, 28 June 2004 07:29 |
Found this on the web last nite,
MALE SEX TEST
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had
sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the
last month. You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at
the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
If you answered "a" more than 7 times,
check your pants to make sure you really are a man-yes, you are a true gentleman.
If you answered "b" more than seven times,
check into therapy, you're still a little confused,you are soon going to be DA MAN.
If you answered "c" more than 7 times,
"YOU ARE DA MAN- a true beast,guided by lust rather than true love- SHAME ON YOU!"
|
|
Posted by:
|
|
|
Tuesday, 13 July 2004 11:57 |
|
|
QUOTE (Chazzy @ July 13, 2004, 07:30) Thank you, it's really kind of you to ask. It was several f**king jerks,actually. Things are in perspective now, only hate a large portion of men, but not all men.
I know its tough Chazzy. I can see it in your new picture. I don't know if this will help, but keep in mind that only those who expose themselves emotionally can get hurt. But there's no other way to find love either.
It takes strength of character and faith to keep one's heart open after repeated hurts. I honestly believe that you will find someone.
I speak from personal experience. I'd say that my breakup and divorce was the single most devastating thing that has happened to me in my life (and believe me, my youth was nothing normal at all). I'm sure I was close to insanity a few times. Yes, I know that sounds dramatic but I even tried to kill myself. And, boy, did I ever hate women!
Its been almost 2 years and not only is my heart still open, but I am a tougher and more relaxed person because of it. I fell in love once since then, and got hurt, but I felt glad that I could still do it.
For me, life is a journey, not a destination. I hope you will have a series of loves ahead of you.
Dana
|
|
Monday, 28 June 2004 07:33 |
|
 Good one! BTW I fit in catagory 'a'.
|
|
Tuesday, 29 June 2004 00:14 |
|
|
A true gentleman !!! You may be in a minority on this site !! |
|
Tuesday, 29 June 2004 04:23 |
|
|
QUOTE (Chazzy @ June 29, 2004, 00:14) A true gentleman !!! You may be in a minority on this site !!
 |
|
Tuesday, 29 June 2004 10:29 |
|
|
She's right there isn't many of us getlemen around. |
|
Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:43 |
|
|
I was between A & C So i guess i'm kind of a nice guy, but then kind of not?!?!?!?! |
|
Tuesday, 29 June 2004 15:15 |
|
|
'D' shame on me, sorry |
|
Tuesday, 29 June 2004 15:18 |
|
|
Damn what a numpty, meant to say 'c', scewse! |
|
Tuesday, 29 June 2004 21:23 |
|
|
8-a 2-b nice guys always lose out to the pricks of the world |
|
Wednesday, 30 June 2004 02:36 |
|
|
QUOTE (hothands @ June 29, 2004, 10:29) She's right there isn't many of us getlemen around.
So, what was your score? |
|
Wednesday, 30 June 2004 04:08 |
|
 |
|
Wednesday, 30 June 2004 10:42 |
|
|
geeze, I am a solid A across the board. Is there no hope for me? |
|
Wednesday, 30 June 2004 11:05 |
|
|
Socially, scoring all "A's" is a good thing, Sexually, just make sure you can behave more like a all "C's" man when she starts screaming "FUCK ME !! FUCK ME !! FUCK ME LIKE THE WHORE I AM!!!" |
|
Friday, 09 July 2004 21:49 |
|
|
if i were a dude I would be "da man" |
|
Saturday, 10 July 2004 06:01 |
|
I agree with Chazzy completely.
Being a sensitive lover is not a drawback. Its a lack of self confidence - the fastest way to lose a woman's interest (the second is arrogance). Or is it the other way around Chazzy?
|
|
Monday, 12 July 2004 23:19 |
|
|
Right now, ALL MEN SUCK!!!!!~!, (sorry, had a bad night, a really REALLY bad night) |
|
Tuesday, 13 July 2004 03:27 |
|
O, for goodness sake Chazzy!
Alright, tell uncle Dana all about it.
What did the f**king jerk do to you?
|
|
Tuesday, 13 July 2004 07:30 |
|
|
Thank you, it's really kind of you to ask. It was several f**king jerks,actually. Things are in perspective now, only hate a large portion of men, but not all men. |
|
Friday, 23 July 2004 16:25 |
|
|
Chazzy how easy one can change from loving all men to "all men suck." It takes only a few ill thought out actions and one or two misspoken words. It can also take weeks to get back to "men yumm" |
|
Friday, 23 July 2004 17:30 |
|
|
It took 17 1/2 hours for me. |
|
Friday, 23 July 2004 18:00 |
|
|
so why don't i ever hear a man say i hate all women, with out a smirk? and if one has ever said it, did it last more than 2 minutes? |
|
Friday, 23 July 2004 18:04 |
|
|
QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ July 23, 2004, 18:00) so why don't i ever hear a man say i hate all women, with out a smirk? and if one has ever said it, did it last more than 2 minutes?
BCB, you might hear a guy say "all women suck" but that is just wishful thinking on his part. |
|
Friday, 23 July 2004 18:05 |
|
QUOTE (EugeneOregon @ July 23, 2004, 18:04) QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ July 23, 2004, 18:00)so why don't i ever hear a man say i hate all women, with out a smirk? and if one has ever said it, did it last more than 2 minutes?
BCB, you might hear a guy say "all women suck" but that is just wishful thinking on his part.
thats why i cleverly replaced it with the word hate!  |
|
Saturday, 24 July 2004 02:34 |
|
|
QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ July 23, 2004, 18:00) so why don't i ever hear a man say i hate all women, with out a smirk? and if one has ever said it, did it last more than 2 minutes?
Right off, I can think of a long list of serial killers that weren't too fond of women. |
|
Saturday, 24 July 2004 04:51 |
|
QUOTE (Chazzy @ July 24, 2004, 02:34) QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ July 23, 2004, 18:00)so why don't i ever hear a man say i hate all women, with out a smirk? and if one has ever said it, did it last more than 2 minutes?
Right off, I can think of a long list of serial killers that weren't too fond of women.
Some like them with a little salt and pepper |
|
Saturday, 24 July 2004 04:52 |
|
reminds me of a stupid joke...
"Battered women????And all this time I've been eating them raw!?!" |
|
Monday, 26 July 2004 04:46 |
|
|
you eat them raw? I at least like a little whipped cream and strawberries on mine! |
|
Monday, 26 July 2004 07:10 |
|
Butterscotch syrup is my favorite  |
|
Monday, 26 July 2004 23:44 |
|
|
Rare, medium or WELL DONE??? |
|
Monday, 26 July 2004 23:52 |
|
rare when I start, very well done when I'm finished  |
|
