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Does any of this sound somewhat familiar?
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Sunday, 16 April 2006 13:23 |
1 star hangover *
No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.
2 star hangover **
Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.
3 star hangover ***
Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a litre of coke watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke - yet you haven't peed once.
4 star hangover ****
Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might honk. You have lost the will to live. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein
and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one the following: 1. Home time, 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, or 3. A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.
5 star hangover (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) *****
You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits next to you. Death seems pretty good right now. You can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore, staining your shirt and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least you think it's toothpaste crust. You don't give a damn either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because all you can manage to do is breathe....very gently.
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Posted by:
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Sunday, 16 April 2006 13:45 |
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on a good "bad" night... number 5 star about right  |
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Sunday, 16 April 2006 21:23 |
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i'm one of those LUCKY few.. i can do the drink/puke cycle till the sun comes up then have a shot for breakfest and eventually end up no higher than 3 stars.  |
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Monday, 17 April 2006 00:36 |
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I don't drink.......Could you imagine ME with alcohol.....   
Although it is always very comical!...... |
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Monday, 17 April 2006 07:09 |
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These are very funny but almost too true to be funny. May I suggest that for 6 stars:
OMG my hair hurts and my teeth itch in addition to all 5 star symptoms |
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Tuesday, 18 April 2006 02:21 |
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Yup, I've hit all five stars. I think that I even hit all five in one night, but that night is really blurry.  |
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Tuesday, 18 April 2006 07:55 |
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The best cure for a hang-over that I have found is, DON'T SOBER UP.... I swear it works... LMAO ...!!!!!  |
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Tuesday, 18 April 2006 08:42 |
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QUOTE (rchamberlain @ April 18, 2006, 07:55)
It's called the hair of the dog that bit ya' |
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Tuesday, 18 April 2006 09:43 |
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QUOTE (MoonHowler @ April 18, 2006, 08:42)
WOOF WOOF!!!!!! |
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Tuesday, 18 April 2006 16:45 |
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Stage 6: You wake up and the cerebellum and occipital lobe are left on your pillow. Now your other brain parts are bouncing around ! |
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Monday, 24 April 2006 00:48 |
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I don't get hangovers 
I drink, I puke, I fall asleep...3 hours later I'm up cleaning house!
Warren hates that last part by the way
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Saturday, 13 May 2006 05:20 |
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QUOTE (pepper @ April 24, 2006, 00:48)
you sould jump his bones before cleaning he might not mind so much works 4 us if not just keep avoid  at all costs   |
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