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Signs that you had a bad Date
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Monday, 17 April 2006 03:39 |
* Not only is she a little young, but you're sure that you used to date her mother. *
You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little league with her. *
She has a thicker mustache than you. *
When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door with a contract describing your duties and restrictions. *
You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole.
* Her bra and panties are wired to an alarm system.
* You walk away from her front door with the roses you got her shoved up your ass. * You are the first guy that she's gone out with that isn't her cousin.
* At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic.
* She beats the crap out of some guy for making fun of your hair cut.
* You wake up the next morning with a wicked hang-over. In the bed next to you is Janet Reno.
* At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house, and her pimp is waiting there with your bill.
* You wake up to find your loins covered with purple and green spots, with an intense itching in your left thigh.
* She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then finally asks if you want to meet Satan.
* She is better hung than you.
* She constantly complains that her cat won't stop laughing at her.
* She informs you that you can't go out again because her spirit guide doesn't like you.
* She informs you that you can't go out again because her boyfriend doesn't like you. |
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Posted by:
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Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:23 |
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