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LIVE RATED
Truth or Dare Blog
Cuckold Blog
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POLITICALLY CORRECT!!!
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Monday, 12 July 2004 08:26 |
A friend just emailed me this, kinda funny!!
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
WOMEN:
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK- She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or a MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have MAJOR LEAUGE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
MEN:
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASION.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.
6. He does not get FALLING DOWN DRUNK- He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
11. It's not his crack you see hanging out of his pants - it is MALE
CLEAVAGE.
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Posted by:
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Monday, 12 July 2004 09:33 |
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Tuesday, 21 September 2004 23:16 |
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I thought this one needed to be revived...  |
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Tuesday, 21 September 2004 23:36 |
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i have a very nice book of political ycorrect bedtime stories.
tells about "snow white and the 7 verticaly challaged men"
"cinderella", who had a badly mis-understood mother-of-step.
stories that make me think that maybe, we have gone a little to far with this pc stuff.
and we all here, at the humorous agricultural establishment think so. |
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Thursday, 23 September 2004 08:49 |
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I came across something really interesting years ago. It was a web site that proposed to replace all of the races typically the butt of jokes with a standardized race that didn't exist - so that said jokes would not offend anyone!
I'm going to try to see if I can find it again. What a hoot!
Here in Canada Newfoundlander's are the butt of choice for many jokes. Its such a rural and maritme area that they have a reputation for being simple folks. We call them "Newfies".
Example: Why did the newfie have a problem with the new Loonie coin? He didn;t know how to get the chocolate out of it!
For my American friends... a loonie is our dollar coin. Its gold in coloUr and carries the image of a loon. Very beautful when new, as is our coin-within-a-coin Toonie ($2 coin). |
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Friday, 24 September 2004 19:54 |
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well, try to offend a swede sometime. there are no ethnic slurs for swedes. the best i could do was "flaming divot", which was somewhat less than satisfying.
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Friday, 24 September 2004 20:22 |
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try being a blend of norwegian, german, and irish..... you never hear ethnic slurs or jokes!!  |
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Saturday, 25 September 2004 05:05 |
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QUOTE (bawbie @ September 24, 2004, 19:54) well, try to offend a swede sometime. there are no ethnic slurs for swedes. the best i could do was "flaming divot", which was somewhat less than satisfying.
Sounds like a challenge! How about this one:
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Sweden. Swedish search and rescue workers have recovered 3000 bodies thus far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening...
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Saturday, 25 September 2004 20:34 |
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QUOTE (backfromaustintx @ September 25, 2004, 05:05) QUOTE (bawbie @ September 24, 2004, 19:54) well, try to offend a swede sometime. there are no ethnic slurs for swedes. the best i could do was "flaming divot", which was somewhat less than satisfying.
Sounds like a challenge! How about this one:
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Sweden. Swedish search and rescue workers have recovered 3000 bodies thus far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening...
sounds pretty good, but a bit long for my purposes. like "you ignorant squarehead!!!" or "leave me alone, taffy". something like that.
you naughty, naughty swede!  |
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