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WWW.ZOIG.COM
LIVE RATED
Truth or Dare Blog
Cuckold Blog
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Naughty Jokes - Dirty naughty jokes archive for June, 2004
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Male Sex Test
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28/06/2004 |
Found this on the web last nite,
MALE SEX TEST
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had
sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the
last month. You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at
the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
If you answered "a" more than 7 times,
check your pants to make sure you really are a man-yes, you are a true gentleman.
If you answered "b" more than seven times,
check into therapy, you're still a little confused,you are soon going to be DA MAN.
If you answered "c" more than 7 times,
"YOU ARE DA MAN- a true beast,guided by lust rather than true love- SHAME ON YOU!"
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Posted by: |
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THE PAOMNNEMHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID
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15/06/2004 |
The Mind is SOOOOOOOOO Amazing
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was radnieg
THE PAOMNNEMHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod
are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and
lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?  |
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Posted by: |
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Well it amused the hell outta me
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09/06/2004 |
mickey and minnie are in the divorce courts,
the registrar says 'im sorry mr mouse but we have to revoke your application as you cant split up because your wife has bucked teeth'
Mickey 'I didn't say she had buck teeth i said she was fuckin goofy' |
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Posted by: |
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