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Naughty Jokes - Dirty naughty jokes archive for December, 2005

the 12 naughty days of christmas 27/12/2005

On the first day of Christmas my girlfriend gave to me
A boner and a pear tree
On the second day of Christmas my girlfriend gave to me
Two French kisses and a boner and a pear tree
On the third day of Christmas my girlfriend gave to me
Three clever fingers, two French kisses, and a boner and a pear tree
On the fourth day of Christmas my girlfriend gave to me
Four moist lips, three clever fingers, two French kisses and a boner and a pear tree
On the fifth day of Christmas my girlfriend modeled for me
Five black lace thongs, four moist lips, three clever fingers, two French kisses and a boner and a pear tree
On the sixth day of Christmas my girlfriend gave to me
Six topless models, 5 black lace thongs, 4 moist lips, 3 clever fingers, 2 French kisses and a boner and a pear tree
On the seventh day of Christmas my girlfriend gave to me
seven cans of whipped cream, 6 topless models, 5 black lace thongs, 4 moist lips, 3 clever fingers, 2 French kisses, and a boner and a pear tree
On the eighth day of Christmas my girlfriend gave modeled for me
eight string bikinis, 7 cans of whipped cream, 6 topless models, 5 black lace thongs, 4 moist lips, 3 clever fingers, 2 French kisses and a boner and a pear tree
On the ninth day of Christmas, my girlfriend gave to me
nine naked photos, 8 string bikinis, 7 cans of whipped cream, 6 topless models, 5 black lace thongs, 4 moist lips, 3 clever fingers, 2 French kisses, and a boner and a pear trea
On the tenth day of Christmas my girlfriend gave to me
Ten tongue pleasures, 9 naked photos, 8 string bikinis, 7 cans of whipped cream, 6 topless models, 5 black lace thongs, 4 moist lips, 3 clever fingers, 2 French kisses and a boner and a pear tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas my girlfriend gave to me
11 erotic movies, 10 tongue pleasures, 9 naked photos, 8 string bikinis, 7 cans of whipped cream, 6 topless models, 5 black lace thongs, 4 moist lips, 3 clever fingers, 2 French kisses and a boner and a pear tree
On the twelfth day of Christmas my girlfriend gave to me
12 hours of sex, 11 erotic movies, 10 tongue pleasures, 9 naked photos, 8 string bikinis, 7 cans of whipped cream, 6 topless models, 5 black lace thongs, 4 moist lips, 3 clever fingers, 2 French kisses, and a boner and a pear tree!

Posted by: bignasty | 6 comments »

Three stages of marital sex.......I was thinging of you guys Levi & DEye! 22/12/2005
Honeymoon sex: This is where you have sex three or four times a night.

Vacation sex: This is where you have sex ten or twelve times a year.

Oral sex: This is where you stand on the opposite side of the room from your spouse and yell "FUCK YOU."



Posted by: nykitten | 28 comments »

Signs Of A Bad First Date 09/12/2005
Yeah, I've been meandering around on my favorite stupid humor websites again....I do love to laugh.... laughing is like an orgasm for my heart,
********************************

Signs Of A Bad First Date


Not only is she a little young, but you're sure that you used to date her mother.

You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little league with her.

She has a thicker moustache than you.

You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole.

You walk away from her front door with the roses you got her shoved up your ass.

You are the first guy that she's gone out with that isn't her cousin.

At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic.

She beats the shit out of some guy for making fun of your hair cut.

At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house and her pimp is waiting there with your bill.

You wake up to find your loins covered with purple and green spots, with an intense itching in your left thigh.

She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then finally asks if you want to meet Satan.

She is better hung than you.

She informs you that you can't go out again because her boyfriend doesn't like you.

Posted by: Chazzy | 3 comments »