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Naughty Jokes - Dirty naughty jokes archive for July, 2009
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KFC
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22/07/2009 |
what is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
by the time you are finished with the breast and thigh all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in
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Posted by: |
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Snails
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16/07/2009 |
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major figures in Rome,Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for her dinner party. She asked her husband to run down to the beach with a bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed.
He took the bucket, headed out the door and down the steps to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling along the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "wouldn't it be great if she would just talk to me." He went back to gathering his snails. All of a sudden he looked up and the beautiful woman was standing over him, and started talking. They got into a deep conversation, and she invited him back to her place.
Well one thing led to another and they had sex into the early morning and he fell asleep exhausted. He awoke at 7:00 in the morning and and exclaimed, "Oh shit, my wife's dinner party." He got dressed in a hurry, grabbed his bucket of snails, ran out the door all the way to his apartment.
He ran up the stairs as fast as he could. He was in in such a hurry he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. Just then his wife opened the door, very angry, and started screaming "Where have you been all night?" He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said:
"Come on guys, we're almost there!"  |
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Ride 'Em Cowgirl!!!
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13/07/2009 |
Blondeback Mountain...
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, despite having had no lessons or prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately for the blonde, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
Her head is battered against the ground, mere moments away from unconsciousness when...
Stan, the Walmart manager, runs out to shut the horse off. |
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Posted by: |
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world's shortest fairytale
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08/07/2009 |
World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' The guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
The end    |
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