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Naughty Jokes - Dirty naughty jokes archive for September, 2009
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Tampons
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08/09/2009 |
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."  |
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Posted by: |
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Wife Wanted!
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08/09/2009 |
One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."  |
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Posted by: |
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Two jokes
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07/09/2009 |
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What do you get if you grow a field full of dildos? Squatters! What do you call a vagina on top of a vagina on top of a vagina on top of a vagina? A block of flaps! |
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Posted by: |
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WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH.............
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05/09/2009 |
Received this from a friend, should it be true ? 
WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH.............
>
>
> 1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE
> IS.
>
> 2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND
> WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING 'WOO-HOO!' IS TRULY
> THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.
>
> 3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK
> SOMEONE'S BUTT AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.
>
>
> 4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK
> MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST
> FOUR HOURS AGO.
>
> 5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.
>
> 6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE 'OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!'
>
> 7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK
> SITTING NEXT TO US.
>
> 8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY
> GOOD AT IT.
>
> 9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEAT US BY
> GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN
> NO LONGER TASTE THE CHARDONNAY.
>
>
> 10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY
> LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop ... OR THE BATHMAT?)
>
> 11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN
> WE SIT ON IT.
>
> 12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR
> FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.
>
> SEND THIS ALONG TO ALL THE GIRLS YOU KNOW WHO LIKE TO HAVE
> FUN. AND THE MEN WHO WILL GET A GOOD LAUGH. MAKE THEM LAUGH AT THEMSELVES LIKE YOU PROBABLY DID....SADLY, MANY ARE TRUE!
>
>
> And Remember...
> 'A clean house is the sign of a wasted
> life!'
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Posted by: |
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Cleaners
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05/09/2009 |
A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners... the Asian lady says "come
again"... The blonde replies, "No its toothpaste this time".  |
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Posted by: |
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